World of WHAT Craft! The Series
by CyborgPirate
Summary: New Chapter today celebrating the Playstation3 debute! Sorry for the hold up I was busy playing my Wii. New chapter Gnome Theft Auto San Azeroth up! Please Read & Review and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

1WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

Meet your Friends

Davis' a mighty human warrior woke up from a huge coma he could not recall. He opened his eyes and light flashed as bright as rare jewels the ancient Draenei's crafted. "Uh where the hell am I? Wait I thought we were fighting the Scourge and-," he turned around seeing Belle a night elf druid right behind him.

"Hey guys he's awake!" Belle called the other Alliance members. Davis knew he was in some sort of base similar to the night elf structure. Could he be in a Warsong Gulch match right now?

"Finally that lassie woke up! He must a took a whooping from that rogue," John a dwarven hunter came by shining the top of his rifle.

"Yea you almost had us worried," Belle said.

"Umm by any chance are we in a Warsong Gulch match?" The warrior asked.

"Well duh! I mean us dwarves have it hard with our short legs and running across the damn battle field. It's no wonder why Snowy tested us in this damn match."

"It's Blizzard!" Chilly a friendly gnome mage came out of nowhere like a lost child.

"Well are we winning?"

"No not really lad. As you can see it seems Gizzard favors the horde. You were guarding our flag till one of them knocked you out and took the flag," John said taking a seat.

"My god it's Blizzard!" Chilly told John.

"Ok so what's going on now?" Davis got up on his foot and pulled out his legendary Quel Serrar.

"Well were set on total defense right now. Gosh I wish Bungie would help overpower us hunters. It would be awesome," John longed.

"That's the company that made Halo you freaking moron!" Chilly replied. Meanwhile the Horde were having a little problem in their base. Arguments were brewing as Shamu a serious and sometimes care free tauren shaman and Techa a screechy bitched up female troll priest.

"Why did you report that other Shaman! We would have won right now!" Techa screeched.

"Well it's not my fault he was hogging Honor Kills," Shamu replied scratching his head.

"So it was for Honor Kills all along! I knew you shamans were power hungry," Techa put her arms crossing.

"Well it's not my fault Dairy Queen made me like that."

"What!?" Techa said confused.

"I think he meant Blizzard. Sorry for taking so long I was just scouting the area with Yuki your brother," Vector said coming out of stealth and Yuki a troll hunter following alongside with him.

"So what's the status?" Shamu asked.

"Nothing big just a paladin," Vector sat down knowing the paladin was no harm.

Outside of the Alliance Base Zero the Paladin gazed at the rock just as he followed orders from John. He was the simpleton or how you say the true stupid person of the team.

"The Horde will never take my rock," Zero said to his self.

"Ok we should come up with a plan to get their flag," Davis said appearing behind Zero. The others soon walked out.

"Ok I'll guard the base with Zero you and the others go get that flag!" John steadily said. Soon Davis, Belle, and Chilly ran off on their mounts preparing for the invasion.

TO BE CONTINUED! PLEASE REVIEW


	2. Dirty Secrets and Chain Lightning

1WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

Dirty Secrets and Powerful Chain Lightnings

John began guarding the Alliance flag by placing a hidden Ice Trap near it freezing anyone who got near it. He placed ammunition into his side pockets preparing ammo for his gun. Zero came back inside wondering something.

"John. I have a question," He asked.

"What is it this time?" John turned around.

"Do you think that maybe we should be getting the flag?:

"What? No you idiot! Were guarding it."

"I know but maybe we should...get another player," Zero oddly suggested.

"What? No besides were losing against a team of 4. Its bad enough for us to wait here and dwindle in this author's deranged mix of misfits," John replied.

"Author?"

"Never mind," The dwarf hid in the nearby small room to hide his self from the horde and Zero followed along. "What the hell get back to your post Zero."

"I know I'm just lonely," Zero started humming.

"Ughh this is gonna be a long match," John whined.

Davis rode his mount to the side of the base and dismissed it. He took the top floor of the Horde's base to infiltrate. It was alright to go by and Chilly and Belle followed along. They peeked at the Horde and all that was there is a Priest.

"Ok we can take them!" Davis valiantly jumped down and charged at the priest.

"Wait Davis wait!" Belle warned. All of a sudden Shamu popped out of hiding and shot a Chain Lightning Blast straight at the warrior. Davis quickly ducked down and Techa shielded her self and the lightning blasted off. It bounced straight at the ceiling where Belle and Chilly stood. It crumbled and fell to the ground.

"Oh crap," Shamu said.

"Thanks a lot Shamu! You fat ass whale named cow head!" Techa rudely said.

"Oh shut up...sob," Shamu started sobbing and ran to his corner and started crying. Davis knew that they were distracted so he ran for the flag.

"Oh no you don't!" Techa feared the three out of the base.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Davis said. Vector and Yuki however entered the base and saw the flag that looked like it was un guarded.

"Wait this must be a trap," Vector halted Yuki's movement.

"BLARGH!!" Yuki incoherently screeched. It was hard to understand what he always said. Instead he summoned his Night Saber to check for traps. The Nightsaber was soon frozen solid.

"Just as I thought," Vector said glaring at the near by box room. He walked towards the room and found John looking at Night Elves Gone Wild videos on Chilly's gnomish T.V. Box.

"Aye get out of here!" John said hiding the screen.

"He is teaching me how to be a man," Zero told Vector as the undead rogue gasped dropping his daggers.

"Can I join?" Vector asked.

"Uhhh sure?" John said moving away from the T.V. and set up the video back.

"BLARGH!" Yuki shouted.

"Go away you damn troll," Vector put his hand in front of the troll's face. Yuki just ignored the flag and went back to the base to tell the others about the bad news. But Davis and his two fellow comrade's their invasion was a failed attempt.


	3. Oops I Summoned Again!

WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

Oops I Summoned Again!

"Holy Shit! You actually captured a Horde member that easily while hiding in a room?" Davis loudly asked as he pointed his sword at Vector who was watching some naughty things on Chilly's T.V. John blasted the television with his rifle and sat on the other remaining videos.

"Uhh yeah me and Zero did it all by ourselves," John stated.

"What? You invited me over to watch-," Vector tried to continued until the dwarf smacked him on the back of the head knocking him unconscious.

"Hey that's my invention!" Chilly pointed out as he walked towards the broken creation and moaned.

"John did it!" Zero ratted on John. Belle sighed as she noticed the stupidity amongst her team.

"Boys will be boys," she said.

"Oh well at least we lessened their numbers a bit. Gotta give credit to John over here babysitting this undead here and knocking him out," Davis agreed.

"Yea I know it's even better then that time I got the babysitting job at the Stormwind Orphanage," John said going in to a flashback.

It was at the afternoon in Stormwind. John applied for a job to take care of the orphans and take them out for free lunch. Until things got a bit rough.

"Hey I want some Tingle's Ice Cream!" A random orphan shouted. All of them were all scattered like ants during a picnic lunch.

"Yea I wanna see the huge waterfall thing in the dwarven lands," another said.

"Alright calm down lads and lassies. Ok everyone is here okay? Now let's get going," John said as he noticed one of them being Chilly disguised as a kid. "Chilly what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm an orphan named...Chilly err I mean Billy!" The gnome replied.

"You're a gnome man! You would need a better disguise then that. Besides I'm not giving you anything free."

"Oh come on! I mean look at that kid in the corner your bringing along! It's a fucking orc child for Pete's Sake!" The gnome jumped in anger.

"Daddy where are you!?" The orcish child in the corner stood frightened.

"Watch your language! We got kids here and were in the Cathedral district. You know how priest feel when you ruin their so called religion and stuff," John replied marching out of the door. Outside two priests were chatting.

"Can you believe that!? Warriors can use freaking staves!" One of them said.

"I know! I mean paladins can't get married including priests and we have to follow all these god forgiven rules! Jesus Christ," the other answered back.

"I'm glad were ignoring the other players in search for healers. I mean those damn feral druids and gay ass holy spec paladins will ninja out on our cloth gear."

"Yeah I know! So you wanna go spend 24 hours farming on some mobs?"

"Heck yea. I'm shadow spec so ya we might finish a bit quicker." Now back to where our gang left off. An orc warlock appeared out of nowhere right in front of Techa, Shamu, and Yuki.

"Hey guys. I'm here to ummm do stuff! So do any of you guys need help?" He asked.

"Yes our friend is held captive in the Alliance base watching porno, our ceiling is broken, we need to get a flag, and we have a bitch ass troll," Shamu said.

"Well at least I didn't break the ceiling with a super powerful chain lightning," Techa replied. "Anyways can you summon our friend back here?"

"Sure thing. Now everyone help me with the portal summon," The warlock opened up a dark vortex and the others helped raise their hands up to assist in bringing back Vector. Instead a murloc appeared and the guys gasped in silence. The murloc battle cried and pulled out it's spear and started poking Yuki. Yuki pulled out his pole-arm and spin slashed the murloc to death. "Oh crap hold up lets do this again," The orc conjured up another portal and a naked night elf with long hair appeared.

"Oh momma!" Shamu jumped in joy as he stared at her. The night elf seduced the tauren shaman and started getting closer. Techa looked at Shamu's off topic position in trying to save their friend. She smited the night elf with a holy spell and the elf fell to the ground.

"Hey what was that for?"

"For you not paying attention to our duty man!"

"Ahhh you the troll has a crush on you," the orc said grinning.

"Get back to work!" The two said in unison. The orc again opened up another portal but instead he summoned an Scourge zombie.

"Vector?" Shamu pulled out his mace and shield and got closer to the Scourge laying face down on the floor. The Scourge slowly turned it's head around and scoured at the shaman with great distaste. "SON OF A BITCH!" Shamu jumped back scared. Techa quickly casted a smite spell on the zombie and it burnt to black ashes.

"Where the hell do you learn to summon? And what's your name?" Techa asked.

"Oh my name is Jak Thar the Third. But mostly Jak! And I got a warlock degree in the Ogrimmar Emo Den of Dark Magic," he replied. Techa slapped the warlock so hard that the orc fell down on the floor like a huge tree being chopped off from a chainsaw.

"YOU BETTER HURRY UP JAK! YOU DON'T WANNA JAK UP YOUR SUMMONS GOT IT!?" Techa screamed.

"Jeeze you don't have to scream," Shamu added.

"Yah!" Yuki to allied with Shamu. The troll priest turned around and started having a dark red glow in her eyes.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN TO WIN A WSG MATCH! IT'S BEEN FUCKING 3 MONTHS SINCE I'VE WON! I WANT A FUCKING GOOD GAME WITHOUT EACH SIDE HONOR KILLING EACH OTHER OUT THEIR. IM SO SICK OF 'SHAMANS ARE OVERPOWERED' OR 'PALADIN SHIELDS ARE CHEAP' CAN'T YOU EVEN USE YOUR OWN SKILLS TO ASSIST IN COMBAT! I MEAN LOOK AT THAT PALADIN ON THE TOP OF THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOF RIGHT NOW. HE'S BEEN SPYING ON US WHILE HOLDING A GNOMISH VIDEO CAMERA RECORDING OUR EVERY MOVE!" Techa explained with great anger. Then everyone noticed Zero on the top roof escaping.

"He's escaping!" Shamu started shooting an instant Earth Shock which made the roof collapse and Zero drop the camera. Zero quickly picked up the camera and shielded his self to escape. Techa looked at Shamu disappointed.

"GREAT WE HAVE NO MORE CEILINGS ALL THANKS TO YOU!"

"Ok I stop," The tauren shaman shivered in fear.

TO BE CONTINUED!Please review.


	4. Zode Appears!

1WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

Zode Appears! Super Ninja!

(Guest Star: Zode)

It's been a couple of hours since the beginning incident of the two sides. Time was of the essence while the Horde tried to summon their rogue friend Vector back. The Alliance had their spy Zero zoom in on Techa and Shamu's dispute. It's a weird story ain't it? Well it's gonna get worse dog!

"Hey guys I'm back! I got the video of the horde's next plan!" Zero said cheerfully coming in.

"Good now lemme take a looksie at it," Chilly said grabbing the video cam out of Zero's hands. He viewed the video but instead found it being Zero's foot. Chilly looked at Zero as if he had to deal with an annoying pest. He threw the Camera at Zero and the paladin spun around in circles dizzy. "You moron, your suppose to hold the camera up and face the lenses at them! Not at your fucking foot!" Chilly roared as his teeth got sharper.

"Don't worry were interrogating this rogue here," Davis said. John cocked his rifle and started aiming at Vector's head.

"So what's your team's plan?" John forcefully questioned.

"I don't even know my team's plan. What do you expect a mind reader?" Vector replied.

"Oh a smart guy huh? We have ways of making you talk!" John put away his gun and pulled out a box. "In here we have your dirty big secrets!"

"Wait how did you get a box of his secrets. I mean do zombies really keep their belongings in a box?" Davis asked leaning at the wall.

"Shush! I'm trying to make this suspenseful!" The dwarf pulled out a peacebloom and showed it to Vector. "What is this doing in your bag? Trying to smoke herbs huh?"

"You idiot! Why would I smoke? Besides if I did it would go through my lungs," Vector said looking away. He reached into his side pocket for his rare dagger to break his self free of his tied up state.

"Next question! What is Belle's bra and panties doing in your box?" John said hold Belle's belongings.

"What? Look Belle is good looking and all but I would never de-grade such a sweet looking night elf." Vector kindly looked at Belle. The night elf druid walked up to John and grabbed back her clothing.

"Ugh! You stole this not him!" She went to Bear Form and started mauling down John.

Techa and the other however were trying to solve things at their own hand. Jak the newcomer orc warlock tried his best to summon Vector back but instead his last three attempts failed.

"Ok wait up guys. I can summon him if I had a piece of object or something that belongs to him." Jak said coming in with his latest discovery.

"Well Vector was kinda quiet out of the rest of us. I mean he doesn't share anything with us except...his beer!" Shamu remembered and pulled out a mug of beer from his bag. "Oh and another object," he than pulled out Vector's poisons he lend.

"Ok lets hope this works," The warlock conjured up another portal and placed the two objects in place of a creepy looking summoning circle. The vortex exploded with red and black shifting through the room like a dark haze. A mysterious night elf was kneeling in the center. He had a dark black robe and a mask covering his nose and mouth. He was holding two out of date katanas and a set of shurikens on his belt.

"My name is Zode. Master ninja to the alliance. I serve those who require assistance that too includes the Horde. What do you wish for?" The night elf stood up and came closer to the group.

"Umm this isn't what we wanted," Techa whispered to Jak.

"Yeah but this guy might help us rescue Vector," Shamu added. "Ok we were wondering if you can save our friend from the Alliance base he looks like a rogue and well Im guessing he is short to. But not so short but probably regular oh and he holds a crossbow alongside with him just incase," Soon Zode disappeared and was out at the field running at mach speed towards the opposing base. Inside he shadow melded into the side of the stairs and waited for one of them to walk down. _A paladin! This is going to be easy, _Zode thought to his self. Zero walked down humming Happy Time into his mind and out came a huge smoke bomb right in front of his very eyes. Zode slashed at Zero a number of countless times. Next he dropped a stun bomb causing Zero unable to move. With a final blow to the chest Zode was able to bring down Zero and send him back to the resurrection point.

"Hey look it's a ghost person," Zero waved at the spirit healer. He then back in his own body and searched for the spirit healer. "Weird? I think he went to sleepy."

"God I hate my job being a ghost," The spirit healer. Zero soon reappeared in front of the healer's very own eyes. "Hey how you kill your self that quick?"

"Well their was a pointy eared man who came up to be and told me my shoe was untied. Then I looked at my foot and noticed they were Lightforge Boots without laces. I think I need to buy some this way I won't trip," Zero told the healer.

"Well just go back and guard the flag or something," The spirit healer sent Zero back to his body.

Three minutes later...

"Hey can you resurrect me again?"

"What that quick! You have got to be kidding me. What happened?"

"Well you see their was the pointy ear guy again. Except this time he told me that their was a ghost behind me. Then I turned around and thought to myself that there is no such things as ghosts."

"Ok well kid there is such thing as a ghost but...Never mind just go back," Twenty deaths later.

"Hey can I get another body resurrection again?"

"Jesus Christ! How the hell are you dying?"

"Well you see-,"

"No you used the same reason for the fifth time already! No their wasn't a fucking Nintendo Wii behind you! Your so stupid you fall for the same thing over and over again!"

"Yes can you please tell him to just guard the rock! I even had to killed myself just because of this moron!"

"Whoa It's Zode the ninja master!" The spirit healer shouted.

"Yeah thanks ok Zero you stay out of my mission and I'll spare you your life," Zode told Zero.

"Okay..." Zero replied. John looked at his weaponry of ranged weapons and had a hard time choosing.

"Hey why not try the crossbow?" Davis said picking it up. Zode came in thinking the warrior was the captive in distress. He flung a shuriken straight at John. The dwarf quickly ducked for cover and the invading night elf threw a smoke bomb causing the small room to go awry.

"Where the hell is he?" Davis coughed. Zode picked him up and tried to run off until Vector got off his tied up state and kicked him. Zode and Davis fell on the floor but the night elf ninja quickly got on his foot ready for battle.

"I can see it in you," Zode said.

"Hmmm an opponent worthy of my skills," Vector put up his Bloodfang Hood shielding his very own eyes. The two sprinted straight at each other and the katana and dagger clashed. Soon it was a battle of dexterity and wits. Zode pulled off a low blow katana swipe and the undead jumped over it. Then a Naruto Battle Theme played in the background. Zode threw a smoke bomb down on the ground. Vector assumed his position and listened for any signs of movements. Then a twitch was heard and Vector shanked Zode on the right shoulder. Zode retreated with a second smoke bomb followed up with a mithril stun bomb. Wrapping a bandage around his arm he then flung 10 shurikens straight at the rogue. Vector felt the blood on his side body. Zode then followed up with a thrust with his katana. The undead fell on the wall and saw the katana near his cheek. He noticed it was a low level blade. _What could this be the very famous Zode Master Warrior Ninja?_ Vector thought. Then a moon fire blast was heard and Zode turned around seeing Belle holding her Aurastone Hammer and spellbook. Then all went black for the ninja master as he got knocked out.

"Holy Crap," Vector gasped trying to catch his breathe. Will The Horde be able to save Vector? Can this Zode come back on his foot and show what he's got?


	5. RAGNAROS RAIDS WSG

WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

"Ugh where the hell am I?" Zode asked himself as he woke up from his knocked out state. He felt his hand tied up and his body tightened. Vector heard Zode woke up and asked himself _They have got to be fucking cheapos if they can't afford another rope to tie this so called ninja master by himself _he thought.

"Guys look he woke up!" Zero called the others.

"It's about time," John said as he walked in.

"Hey where's my katana, shurikens, and my bombs?" Zode asked as he looked up.

"Hah! We sold it!" John claimed. "Now Vector lets try to make you talk. What are these smoke bombs doing in your box?"

"For the last time that isn't my box! Plus those are Zode's smoke bombs not mine." Vector stated.

"Hey you said you sold mine!"

"I thought they were bubble gum," Zero burped a gas of smoke and patted his stomach.

"You idiot your suppose to chew gum not swallow it," John commented.

Jak and Shamu however were having a nice little game of poker while Techa tried fixing the roof. She tried to put them together like a puzzle but knew it wouldn't hold enough.

"Ugh..guys do we even have the material to fix this? I mean come on man!" Techa asked.

"I don't know," Shamu said placing down a card.

"Maybe that gnome guy has some tools to fix the roof," Jak joined the conversation. "Hey maybe I can summon him over here."

"No we don't your pathetic attempt to try summon again," Shamu said as he placed down his cards.

"Ahh come on! Just one more try."

"Fine but this better works," The trio started to re-preform the summoning. However Zode and Vector were kinda busy.

"Say your lines," John said pointing his gun at Zode's head.

"But I don't want to."

"Say it!"

"Fine, Roar I'am the fire breathing black dragon ready to kill your mate."

"Quick comrades! Pull out your weapons and seize this crazed beast!" Davis acted.

"Ah save me," Belle weakly said as she did not want to be part of this role-playing.

"I pull out my mighty mace and swing it at the beast. 'YAY'" Zero read his script wrong. "Zero its yah! Not yay, plus your suppose to act out your line not read it," Davis said.

"Please tell me again why were acting this out?" Vector wondered.

"Because I wanna skip this part and go on to the sex scene with the princess and the brave warrior."

"Oh you horny bastard," Belle scowled.

"Sex scene! You just want to get laid by a freaking night elf. You freaking bastard do you even know her? Ugh I knew it all you humans are the same only-," Soon Zode and Vector disappeared without a trace.

"Hey where did they go," Chilly said standing in the position they were at.

"Boobs and Vagina in your minds!" Vector continued.

"Okay...What the hell are you talking about?" Shamu looked at him like an alien.

"I'm surrounded by perverts," Techa walked away.

"Hey it finally worked," Jak cheered.

"Gratz man," Shamu replied. Yuki released Zode and Vector from their tied up state and shook hands with the ninja master.

"Thank you," Zode bowed down.

"Ok so whose side are you on?" Shamu asked.

"It seems a war is breaking out. The Alliance are weak. They are busy role playing and not much defense around the base except a wandering paladin," Zode warned.

"Me and Zode can sneak in and take their flag," Vector sharpened his blade as soon as he arrived home.

"Well nothing bad can happen now," Techa came in holding her staff. An explosion was heard just outside the base and bits of lava fluttered the sky and fell on the group.

"What the hell?" Vector ran outside the base and saw the very Firelord Ragnaros staged in the middle of the field. "Oh god," Vector said touching his ghoulish chin.

"What happened? Whoa is that Ragnaros!" Shamu came out along with the others. Ragnaros searched the horizon and felt the very ground he landed on. Soon molten lava and cracks were growing under the ground and the god roared and swung his Sulfuron Hand of Ragnaros mace like King Kong.

"Great Dwarven Mines! Where the hell he came from?" John saw the Firelord through his scope attached to his rifle.

"God can't we ever have a normal game without plot holes filling the storyline," Davis set his foot atop the edge of the balcony.

"Ugh Davis! Stories aren't made out of lines. They are made out of letters and that is why we have books," Zero oddly criticized.

"Well what are we going to do now?" Chilly said while he looked through his telescope. The skies turned darker and started to storm.

"THE END OF WARSONG GULCH IS NEAR! THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY POWERFUL END GAME RAID BOSS WILL SOON ENGULF AZEROTH INTO DESPAIR!" Ragnaros roared.

Yuki spun around closing his ears as the noise of Ragnaros broke his ears. "Blargh!"

"There is no way we can defeat this villain by ourselves. We require the help of the other side," Zode proposed. Shamu got up on his kodo and started leading the group through the sideline.

"Zode's right were gonna need all the help we can get to bring this guy down," Shamu agreed. Upon arrival at the Alliance base Chilly spotted the group of Horde and thought they were invading.

"Incoming Horde!" Chilly summoned a hail of ice to shower on the group. The horde and Zode scattered and tried to dodge the gnome's icy fury.

"Wait hold up we on your side!" Techa screeched while casting a shield to surround her.

"I don't think so," John quickly fired his rifle straight at Vector. Vector dodged the blow and pulled out his crossbow and counterstrikes.

"Vector watch it! Were trying to negotiate with them!" Shamu shouted continuing to dodge whatever the Alliance threw at them.

"I can't help it if they won't listen to us."

"Deal with these guys in the front," Zode ran to the nearby stairs and shadow melded away.

"Ya ya ack!" Yuki pointed to Ragnaros slowly moving towards them.

"What now bro?" Techa turned around gasping at Ragnaros' sudden movement. "How the hell can he move?"

"TASTE THE FLAMES OF SULFURON!" A shot of huge flame flew at the Alliance base and left a huge blackened mark. The damage was so huge that the dent on the wall looked like a huge Chinese wok.

"Son of a bitch," Davis peaked his head out of the battle.

"Look let us in now were trying to help you!" Shamu casted a heal on Vector as he took the gunshot wound on the limb.

"Ok guys hold your fire," Davis halted the mage and hunter's projectile attacks. Zode then appeared behind the group.

"It's about time you guys stopped," Zode looked at his knuckles.

"How the hell he got in here?" John asked.

"I knew it he is a fairy. That is because they can faze through walls," Zero stated.

"Zero please quit it with the stupid ideas," Chilly yearned. The screen fades to black...

TO BE CONTINUED! Will Ragnaros reach their base and release utter chaos?

Please review.


	6. Zode's Final Words

1WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

Upon arrival at the Alliance base the Horde settled down and rested. Shamu gazed across the room seeing both Alliance and Horde working together.

"Never knew I would have to work with you guys," Shamu said aloud.

"Don't get so happy about situation. Were only helping you guys out temporarily," Davis said pointing his trusty Quel Serrar at the tauren.

"So you hold a sword that was crafted with the blood and fire of Onyxia," Zode noticed his sword. Davis looked at the master ninja and nodded. Then rampant scorch noises were heard outside.

"We better hurry up man! I don't think this base can hold it much longer," Techa reminded.

"If I do remember correctly Ragnaros' weakness is water. Due to the fact that he is a Firelord an all," Shamu stated.

"How long did that take ya to come up with?" John said in a high tone.

"I know we should pee on Ragnarok," Zero came in holding his mace as if he was prepared to battle.

"It's Ragnaros. Plus I don't think peeing on a huge god would be such a great idea," Chilly corrected. Another strongly audible noise was heard again and this time it sounded as if more Sons of the Living Flame came charging in.

"Crap I don't think we have time to deal with these guys. Ok everyone split up and do your best to survive," Davis said running into the right hallway. Belle and Chilly followed along.

"Well that was smart," Vector came out of stealth after surveying the attack.

"Ok you, me, Yuki, and Techa head out. Were gonna fight with these guys till we die," Shamu valiantly roared. Soon the room became empty and all was left is Jak, Zero, and John. Including Zode was gone from the group.

"So how are you guys doing?" Jak kindly asked. "Name's Jak by the way."

"Your to friendly to be an orc," John said tightly gripping his rifle and hand axe on his side belt.

"Oh that's okay I was raised by blood elves and draeneis," the orc warlock said. The scene faded and another flashback commenced.

It was the midst era of the Burning Crusade. In a random tavern somewhere around the world were a female Blood Elf and a Draenei lived. Jak came up to his father Draenei and showed him a picture of the whole family including his sister.

"Aw that's nice dear," Jak's mother said passing by holding a sweeper.

"Ah I'm proud of my little mistake!" The Draenei said nodding his glasses.

"You mean my mistake," The blood elf corrected. Then a weird alien looking creature with whitish bluish pal skin with pointy ears walked in. "Oh wait that's my mistake right."

"Oh yea take her out of the picture," The Draenei ripped the very corner of the picture. The weird female creature ran upstairs and started crying. "Yea that's right you stay upstairs you overpowered good for nothing pally shammy mix!" Then the scene heads back to Jak, John, and Zero.

Three Sons of the Living Flame came in surrounding the trio. Jak called upon his Voidwalker to assist him in battle. John to called up a pet. His trusty gorilla.

"Oh snap I think I've soiled my self," Zero said holding up his heavy mace.

"Oh god right now!" John said firing away at the Sons. His Gorilla ran in throwing a series of slams and punches at the elemental. The Voidwalker cast a dark blow on the other Flaming Son followed up with Jak's Deadly Damage Over Time. After a couple of casting and bullet fire the Sons of Flame burst into nothingness. Zero on the other hand started to swing at Jak's Voidwalker and accidently killed it. "Zero you moron how is that a Son of the Living Flame?"

"Well it's shaped like one of em-,"

"It's dark purple!," John yelled.

"Well actually it's kinda pitch black with a hint of violet," Jak stated.

"Oh who cares ya little girly lassie we got a WSG Match to save," John casted Mark of the Cheetah and ran away at mach speed. Davis, Belle, and Chilly however were taking on the extra mobs outside the gate. Chilly used his frost bolts and area damage attacks to deal with them. Davis shield blocked the Sons' Fiery punches and slashed at them. Belle switched from Bear mode to her regular mode to ensure her allies were full at health. An elemental came right behind her and began it's attack. Belle turned around to see her end just until a katana burst through the Living Flame's chest. The enemy exploded and revealed a combat ready Zode in his stance. He regained his belongings and threw a barrage of shurikens at the incomings foes charging in on Chilly.

"Thanks!" Chilly encouraged.

"No problem," Zode quickly leaped into action and began slicing his way through Ragnaros' army. Shamu came cross the middle of the field and saw cracks of lava forming below his foot. Ragnaros soon got closer and more of his minions came marching in. Shamu quickly placed down an Earth, Fire, and a Frost totem and began to attack. Yuki summoned a Night Saber and began to take fire with his trusty bow. Vector leaped into invisibility. Shamu tanked on 3 of the enemies and started swinging his mace recklessly. An earth blast jumped through his hands and killed one of the flames. He swung his mace in a 180 degree killing the other Sons on his side. He took damage from the other Sons casting their pyro on his huge back. Techa performed her daily routine as a priest healing and buffing the group. Arrows were struck at the several incoming mobs and more were brought down as Vector shanked and backstab. Ragnaros got closer and started to grin with his molten mouth.

"THE FUN HAS YET TO BEGAN! MOLTEN GIANTS COME TO THE AIDE OF YOUR MASTER! GET RID OF THESE INSECTS!" The god roared.

"Ya ga ga ga!" Yuki jumped and started itching his head.

"What the hell is he saying?" The undead rogue asked as he got rid of the last of the Sons.

"He says we better run!" Techa said fleeing back to base. Shamu saw her escape and wondered why. Then an earthquake rumbled about and Two Giants crawled out of the cracks with lava flowing through their vein like cracks. Each step they took made the ground shake.

"You guys can run but it's not over for me!" Shamu exclaimed. He frost shocked one of the giants and began to run under one of their legs.

"Hey what are you trying to be? The next Cairn Bloodhoof or something?" Vector shouted as he chased down Shamu. Yuki began chanting random sayings and began to shot an arrow at the other giant gaining it's attention. Yuki casted a mark of the tiger on himself and began to run towards the Horde Base. Ragnaros noticed their futile attempt but instead ignored it and began to close in on the Alliance base.

"Ugh...I'll catch up with you guys one I resurrect my body at the graveyard!" Davis said dropping dead after a Son of the Living Flame's blow.

"Ughh bad time for him to die on us," Zode mention as he pointed to Ragnaros right in front of them. Unfortunately for Davis the spirit healer tried to warn him of the dangers of bringing him to life.

"Are you sure you want me to resurrect you? Cause-,"

"I don't care just rez me!" The warrior was brought to life but was surrounded by more elemental. "Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Then a shadowbolt brought down one of them down and a gun fire. Then Zero came in playing a Fire Resistance Aura to deal a less damage and more swing at the other enemies. Davis helped out by bringing the last ambushing Flames down.

"Quick Ragnaros is already at the base!" Davis got on his steed and ran to the others.

In a matter of time Ragnaros was confronted by the whole alliance team including Jak and Techa. Ragnaros raised his hands in the air and started to roar.

"FOOLS! I'M RAGNAROS THE FIRE LORD!" Ragnaros slammed Sulfuron onto the ground breaking the team apart. Belle jumped into panther form and was side by side with Davis ready to heal. Chilly began spamming Frost Attacks followed up with Arcane missles. John sent his pet and fired his rifle. Zero came up close and started swinging his heavy mace at Fire Lord's bottom. Jak sent his Voidwalker demon and started up with a couple of wand moves and Corruption spells. Ragnaros felt little and continued to burst flames and attack heavily.

Shamu, Vector and Yuki however managed to reach back to their own base and began to take cover inside.

"Well what's your plan?" Vector said with his back against the wall.

"Ok we have a working catapult here right?"

"Yes just near the graveyard."

"Ok you come with me. Yuki hold off the two giants," Yuki began to salute Shamu and started going outside. From here Yuki went in a circular pattern kiting the two giants until Shamu reached the catapult.

"Ok Vector get on the catapult and take these two totems with ya," Shamu commanded.

"But why?"

"I'm gonna launch you at the top of the giants' heads. Once their stick this totem on top of them and leap on to the other one. Once that is done jump off and I'll come in dealing the final blow!" Vector got up on the machinery and the shaman pulled the lever tossing the rogue into the air. The undead saw the view from their base at the alliance base. He fell on his knees right on top of the Molten Giant's head.

"Hasta La Vista! Whatever that means!" The totem was truck right onto Ragnaros' giant. Vector skipped over to the other giant and repeated the process. Shamu came down and got off his kodo and started casting a circular aura into his hands. He faced his hand straight at the giants and the totem's surged ice right into their lava veins. The giants began to shudder and break into pieces like an ancient tower.

"Woot!" Shamu did the Peanut Butter Jelly time dance was his congratulatory victory dance.

"Don't get excited we still have Ragnaros to deal with." By the time Vector, Shamu, and Yuki arrived at the aide of the Alliance's battle Ragnaros already weakend them. Davis arms began to felt numb and swollen as he parried and blocked Ragnaros' physical attacks. Ragnaros raise his left hand and shoot a flamethrower of torching hell at Chilly and Jak causing them to fall to death.

"We lost two men!" John shouted. As a final finishing move Ragnaros absorbed the heat around the area and pulsed it into Sulfuron his oversized mace. He than slammed it onto the ground summoning more cracks of spewing lava to hit the group. Everyone fell to the floor.

"IT'S OVER INSECTS! RAGNAROS WILL CLAIM YOUR TERRITORY AS HIS OWN!" Ragnaros maniacally laughed.

"God stop shouting in caps already it's hurting my ears," Davis complained. Then a shuriken flew into Ragnaros' eye. The god somehow ignored it but looked to the corner seeing the ninja master Zode stand atop an elven catapult. Then the Kingdom Hearts Simple & Clean jingle remix plays on the background.

"I won't let you hurt them Ragnaros! The night elves worked hard to achieve this base including the orcs on the other side. Plus these men are playing a game to capture the flag! I won't let you hurt my new friends not ever!" Zode explained.

"Your friends? But we only knew you for like one day," Shamu said.

"Yeah more like an assistance or an assasin-," Ragnaros blasted Vector with a huge lava meteor.

"BE QUIET!"

"Now it's time to finish this!" Zode kicked the level hurling himself towards Ragnaros. "IT'S OVER RAGNAROS BECAUSE I AM THE RANDOM NON-SPECIFIC HEROIC SUICIDAL HERO WHO KILLS HIMSELF INORDER TO SAVE RANDOM PEOPLE HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT WELL USUALLY SEEN IN ANIMES, JAPANESE RPGS, OR STUPID MOVIES!WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" Zode was stuck inside the Firelord's stomach.

"Hah useless it would take more then a mere elf warrior wanna-be ninja to stop me," Then he noticed that he wasn't talking in caps. "What the why am I speaking normally like every...," A huge nuclear missle like cloud bursted open Ragnaros and Sulfuron dropped spinning in the air and dropping on the ground with it's head on the ground.

"How the hell did he do that?" John shoved the flying particles of mist and dust in his face.

"It was all in the catapults my friend," Shamu placed his hand on John's shoulder. The dwarf hunter smirked and aimed his rifle at the tauren's head. "Wait what are you doing?"

"ATTACK!" Davis charged in chasing the Horde back to their base.

"Hey wait can't we talk this out OUCH!" Jak screamed as Zero slammed his mace into his ass.

"But Davis told me candy would come out of you if I hit you!" Zero said. Now that Ragnaros' invasion is over will the Alliance be able to win or will the Horde? Wait next time on the next Warsong Gulch Chronicles!

PLEASE REVIEW!


	7. Dwarven Spy Tonks

WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

"Man I can't believe were still in battle against the Alliance! I mean come on let's just get their god damn flag already!" Shamu suggested. Yuki started to annoyingly hum while Vector listened to his Gnomish I-Pod. "I mean the Alliance don't have to deal with this annoyance."

"Ya ga ga ga too too too," Yuki screeched.

"And by this time someone should fucking stop!" Shamu got closer to Yuki making deep contact.

"Well I don't think that's true. Except that one paladin. He's plain stupid," Vector nod his head.

While the Alliance spent a little break of relaxation after the Ragnaros' Invasion. Davis and Belle however were getting their thing on in the square room near the flag.

"Oh!" Belle started moaning. Then a Dwarven Spy Tonk settled near the door and peaked through the room. The two loving couple didn't notice what Chilly was doing while he was controlling it upstairs.

"Wow this is great!" John commented.

"Heck yeah this is better then pay per view!" Chilly motioned the analog stick to get a closer view on Davis and Belle's affair.

"Hey guys guess what?" Zero came in holding a pig in his hand. It started to oink and snort.

"Not now Zero," John was to busy looking at the Gnomish television which was hooked up with the tonk. Zero went downstairs and came into Belle and Davis' room.

"Hey guys look at what I got!" Zero showed the pig right in front of the two interfering with their sex.

"What the fuck Zero!" Davis shouted.

"What the!?" John startled in confusion as he saw the paladin coming inside the room. The pig leaped off Zero's hand and started to jump on Belle and jump her.

"Ahh get it off!" Belle screamed.

"HOLY DWARF!" Chilly became excited.

A couple of minutes later...

"What were you guys doing?" Zero asked.

"Look Zero umm do you know when you see a girl and you get a crush on them. Then you get together date and then ummm," Davis tried to think.

"GIT R DUN!" John humped the air.

"Yea that's it! Ok next thing on my mind is burn that perverted gnome's video," Davis ran upstairs.

"No wait! Come on it's hard to find stuff like that," Chilly teleported upstairs.

Throughout time Vector wondered what ever happened to Zode. "Hey do you ever wondered what happen to Zode?" Vector questioned Shamu.

"No not really. Probably got resurrected at the Alliance Graveyard," The tauren began mixing herbs and creating potions. "Yo Jak pass the herbs on second left."

"Sure thing," Jak accidently grabbed the second one on his right. Shamu took the herb without looking at it and dropped it in the vial. The vial began to get hotter and started to bubble.

"What herb did you give me," Shamu started placing the vial on the table.

"Um is it that fiery flower you got from the mushroom kingdom place?"

"Oh god you know how long it took me to get that!" A cutaway scene begins! (Thanks Family Guy)

"Mama mia a fire flower!" Mario shouted after he jumped under the yellow block. He went up and encountered Shamu.

"Ughhh It's a me Bowser!" The shaman quickly said knowing his horns would fool him and swiped the fire flower.

"It's a no problem I can still kill Bowser!" Mario ran off to the castle.

"Hah Not so tough now without your damn Fire Flower to knock that axe at the corner huh!?" Bowser roared pulling a Bullet Bill Rocket Launcher.

"That fire flower would make things so fucking cheap," Mario grumbled.

Back to Shamu and Jak.

"Uh oh it's gonna explode!" Shamu and Jak ducked down and the vial bursted leaving reddish splatter all over the base.

"Well at least it didn't break another ceiling or something," Jak blissfully said. But then the ceiling Techa was standing on top of began to collapse after the effect of the explosion.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Techa roared as loud as Ragnaros.

"Weird was that Ragnaros?" John looked through his scope and scanned the field.

"I dunno," Chilly tried fixing his Dwarven Spy Tonk.

To be continued...


	8. Undying Guild's First Strike

1WoW Warsong Gulch Chronicles

On a bright day in Stormwind an armada of Armored Knights and Cloaked mages came marching through the gates. Leading them were an elite class of 5 figures. Three of them men and the other two were females. Their were on horse backs and wore capes of the highest fashion. Upon arrival at the Stormwind Keep one of them came to the senate.

"Greetings Fellow Senators. How goes my requests?" The man asked as his voice was shrouded by his heavy plate axe shaped helm.

"Well their was a bit of resistance," one of the senators stated.

"Please continue."

"As you can see we have liberated all PvP Matches with Ragnaros already except for one of them. Somehow he was defeated. But the good news is that the pvpers have been slain and their stores taken away by our hidden ghost catchers. We also have a prized award just for you sword. The Ninja Master Zode's soul." The senator pulled out a mystic orb holding Zode's very spirit.

"Ahh a fine collection to my soul collection." The man took the soul orb and examined it's properties. "Soon I will have my own army of soul powered warriors. All of Azeroth shall be mine." A human peasant with dark black skin eavesdropped on the man's saying.

"Hey what's a peasant doing in the keep!" The Stormwind Guard asked in a voice that of a police.

"Has he been intruding on my meeting?" The man said putting the orb in his pocket.

_Crap _the human peasant thought and pushed the Guard aside leaving the area.

"No matter. What's a peasant going to do while I have my own army patrolling Stormwind Keep. As for that resistance that took down Ragnaros." A Cloaked man came out of nowhere behind the armored knight.

"So Wrathius. You need help?" The cloaked figure said as he too was part of crew.

"Would you be so kind to take your brigade and take a looksie at this one Warsong Gulch match?"

"Sure thing." The cloaked man disappeared in a flash.

"Soon the Undying Guild shall reach their very goals. We are immortal!" He said to himself.

"Your talking to yourself!" One of the senate members said aloud.

"Oh shut up Jeeves!"

The Warsong Gulch match was almost to an end as both sides were caught in a dead lock. Just one more flag and the Alliance or Horde would win.

"Ok guys were performing a sneak attack. Belle go panther and go to their side room near their flag. Chilly and Zero will stay on defense. Zero keep the mage up. John back me up and have your pet tracking down anyone whose on stealth," Davis commanded.

"I have a question," Zero uttered.

"What now?"

"Can I have some potions?"

"What you're a paladin! You can heal yourself lad," John replied.

"I know but my hands hurt when I heal," Zero whined.

"How does your hand hurt when you heal?" Davis asked.

"Yea I know that. It's just that gnomes move really fast and I can't keep up to heal them."

"What the? But how?" Chilly scratched his head in confused.

"Because you guys are to short to heal."

"WHAT Zero that doesn't even make sense!" John said.

"Never mind that! We have a game to win," Davis dashed outside while John followed.

"Okay guys Techa and me will head outside to snatch the flag. You, Vector, and Yuki guard the flag." Shamu ordered pointing at Jak.

"Wait what if something bad happens," Jak asked. "I mean what if a power hungry paladin comes here and tries to hurt me or some other class that spells P-A-I-N."

"Ugh... Don't worry just fear them if they get to close to you," The rogue said sitting down. Shamu and Techa ran out to the battlefield only to find Davis and John. Belle however managed to sneak in side the horde base panther form. Shamu was set in deep combat with John as the hunter kited him back. Shamu tried the same by dropping a Frost Totem and casting it. Davis charged on Techa but the troll managed to protect her self with a divine shield. While thw two were engaged in never ending combat trample of a horse's foot was heard. A cloaked man wearing fine plated armor the highest a warrior can afford came by alongside him a cavalry.

"Are you group that slain the almighty Fire lord Ragnaros?" Asked the leader.

"I guess that would be us-," The leader pulled out his Axe and Sword and clashed them with Davis. The two were locked in a struggle.

"Silly fools. I'm amazed that a rag tag team of under dogs actually brought down a god. My name is Dasch Vons Corilla. But better yet THE EDGE OF DEMISE!" He lunged his Axe onto Davis' arm knocking off his weapon. Soon his men were able to bring down the other three. The cavalry swung their spears knocking down John, Techa was wrestled to the ground by the others and Shamu was forced down by his horns.

"Oh my god Davis and the others!" Chilly shouted investigating the scene.

"Maybe we should stay here and hide," Zero suggested cowering down.

"Hey what's happening over there?" Vector got up on the balcony.

"Hey it must be party. Aw how sweet of them," Jak came up.

"Oh knights pinning down our friends is a party."

"Hey it's pin the tail on the tauren."

"Not funn-," Belle sapped Vector down and alerted the orc warlock.

"Oh my god!" Jak feared Belle away and made an escape downstairs. The knights encountered Jak with their crossbows and spears facing him. "Oh nice bows and pointy spears you have. I have a nice staff to and A Soulstone right in my bag," The orc commented checking his bag. The night elf druid was behind him.

"What are these guys doing here?" Belle was in shock and escaped in panther form.

"Seize them!" One of the guards yelled. They all crowded the halls and lead them in a wild goose chase. Belle and Jak passed by Vector.

"Hey what's going on?" Vector saw them running past him as he woke up from his knocked out body.

"No time to answer have to run!" Jak grabbed Vector's grizzly undead arm and brought him to the nearby stairs.

"I don't know what's going on but I'm guessing it's bad," Belle turned her head back still running. Two guards popped out of the sides of the door pointing their crossbows. Belle returned to her desirable panther form and jumped on one of them. The other was brought down by a quick shadowbolt to the face by the warlock.

"Oh shit," Vector cursed as the three saw a whole brigade surrounding them.

"Give up! Your orders are simply followed by that of the Undying Guild. Kindly surrender and we will be sure your death is a slow one," Dasch yelled through his speaker phone.

"Hah we won't die silly goose. There is a spirit healer that easily revives us," Jak heartily said.

"I don't think so," Vector pointed at a crystal melded onto a staff which was sticking on to a graveyard.

"What do you think that is?" Belle was puzzled.

"It's a soul conduit. Used to gather souls when placed on a certain graveyard. Once stuck the spirit healer to is sucked in followed along by anyone else who died." The knights got closer ready to kill the three.

"Now is not the time to talk we better fight for our lives! May Elune praise you!" Belle transformed into bear mode.

"For the Forsaken!"

"For Jacob my pet bunny I keep back at home!" Jak suddenly shouted. Belle thrashed the incoming guard while enduring the very poking of their spears. Jak constantly feared and corrupted the surrounding guards. Yet he had to deal with the bolts being flung on his very body. Vector stealth away and backstabbed any guard that was unsuspected. Althought their was to many for them to handle and they were soon surrounded and brought to their knees by numbers. An explosion was heard and almost sounded like a plane. Nearly everyone looked to the sky and found a bi-plane soaring through the sky.

"Yee hah!" Chilly yelled like a hill billy controlling the steering wheel of his plane.

TO BE CONTINUED.


	9. Onyxia owns

Explosions bursted from the ground as Zero dropped the following bombs Chilly ordered him to drop. Each drop made all of Dasch's men die into the air like rag dolls hit by a baseball bat.

"Fools bring these meddlers down from the sky!" Dasch ordered pointing his axe in the air.

"Sir our crossbows aren't accurate enough to even hit it. I mean come on sir chances of hitting that plane is really slim." One of the soldiers said.

"I want results! No excuses."

"Okay men rally in the crazy casters!" The soldier's voice was heard and his fellow men gathered near a chain steel box. They used their spears to break off the chains. Banging and absurd comments were heard in side the cage. The front hatch was finally open and out came three plain looking mages holding their staff like a deranged monkey that was high.

"GO ME KILL! RAK RAK RAK!" The undead magician shouted like a little boy ready to go on a roller coaster ride. The other two human and troll mage started to follow along with nonsensical shouting. The mages began casting together a series of Frostbolt causing to freeze the wing of the Gnomsih Bi-plane.

"Oh crap we've been hit!" Chilly screamed in terror.

"No were going up!" Zero said putting his hands on his forehead.

"No you freaking retard! It's down." The two jumped off and lead the plane crashing to the nearby mountain side covering the field. Zero casted a heavy shield to prevent damage from landing while Chilly casted a light feather spell to slow down his fall.

"Oh great were doomed," Vector said in denial.

"Don't worry guys I can summon up the most bad ass of all demons to help us! Just help me conjure up the summoning," Jak tried to remind the group.

"Oh like that's gonna work," Vector disagreed.

"Well it's our last choice," Belle slammed her hammer on to a nearby soldier. She felt the vibration as these soldiers wore middle classed smithed gear made out of the easiest of all mithrils.

"Here goes," Jak set up a portal and Vector and the druid focused their energy on it. A hamster appeared out of the portal with it's cute budding eyes.

"It's Hamtaro how cute!" Jak was amazed with his hands in a cute awing gesture.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Vector was disappointed.

"Well it is kinda cute for a lil wittle hamster. Ain't you cute," One of the soldiers placed his spear on his back buckle and started pinching and feeling the hamster's cheeks. Vector looked at the soldier and flung a throwable dagger through the warrior's visor.

"Oh did you really have to kill him?"

"Just summon up another demon!" The orc began putting up another portal. But this time a yellow mouse came out of it sparking electricity through it's sin. "Pikachu you have got to be kidding me! Summon another!" Jak yet again placed another portal but this time summoned Casper the Friendly Ghost.

"Hi their guys," greeted the ghost shaking hands with Belle.

"Ok hold up guys this last one might work!" Jak gained darkness into his hands and summoned Curious George instead. This wasn't what he was looking for. "Alright little kiddies lets beat these fools." The warlock said in a high pitch tone making him sound like Michel Jackson.

"Dude that sounded gay," Vector commented. The monkey bounced in front of the soldiers following along him the other summons which were lined up perfectly. The soldier speared through the adorable critters except Casper who was well a ghost.

"Hah you can't hurt me I'm a ghost," Casper said putting his hand in his own stomach. Soon the nearby graveyard which was controlled by a Soul Sucking Staff took Casper's very life like a vacuum.

"Hurry Zero we gotta fight our way through these guys," The gnome busted out his Arcane Explosion taking out the warriors.

"Hey look it's a cow lets skin it," Zero noticed Shamu's body lying down. The paladin pulled out his skinning knife and starting peeling off the tauren's left arm's skin.

"Whoa what the fuck are you doing?" Techa screeched coming alive out of nowhere. Jak's trusty soul stone worked after all. The troll priest smited Zero's hand preventing him from skinning all of Shamu. Followed up by a resurrection Shamu woke up from a knocked out state.

"Ughh that was close just 1 second away from my certain doom to that soul conduit," Shamu got up and saw the battle going on at his base as crowds of warriors fought against their allies and one enemy. "Looks like were gonna have to be working together again."

"Let's just say were gonna find out where all these fellas are coming from," A voice said out of nowhere. It was Davis as he was holding his famed blade Quel Serrar and a soul conduit on the other.

"How did you do it?" Chilly was astonished.

"Easy let's just say my wits are to good enough for some crappy soul sucker," Davis said not providing not information on his escape.

"You are a magician," Zero came out of nowhere. "And Chilly is a warrior."

"Is something wrong with him?" Shamu marveled at Zero's stupidity.

"No he's just like that," Davis replied.

Upon arriving at the fight the undead rogue, druid, troll hunter Yuki, and the warlock worked together fighting off as much soldiers as possible. Vector ran out of energy and was to tired out of fatigue. Belle jumped out of her Bear form breathing for air. Jak fell to his knee's casting his last spell on the finally dead soldier.

"I was hoping it wouldn't take this long. Yet so sad that Alliance and Horde dying together. I must say you put quite a show when fighting Ragnaros. Now I must kill you my dear," Dasch removed his cloak revealing a dark brownish hair man with a tied up hair behind his neck. "You look to gorgeous to kill. But yet Beast must always kill Beauty and or rule it." The official fooled around with Belle circling around her and pointing his sword right on her neck. The night elf stared at the razor sharp sword of his. It was such of great value and fashion for such a common look alike general.

"You must be some kinda Magister or something," Belle started to sweating and grind her death in hopelessness.

"Why yes girl-," An earth shock suddenly struck the magister's chest. Dasch tried to move but his movement was sundered and made him move like a crippled zombie. "Ahh rid these insubordinate fools!"

"Think again Chilly, Techa, Shamu, and Zero go!" Davis sounded like a confident commander winning a war. Zero threw shield around Chilly and the gnome ran into Dasch's crowd bursting random Area of Effect damage slaughtering them like a lawnmower. Shamu placed totems around himself and Techa began throwing a shield around him the same as Zero preventing the soldier's spears and crossbows from hurting him. The shaman flung many random assortments of fire, earth and water spells at the soldiers. The tauren also swung his mace with great strength. Dasch was finally left along with his crazy mages.

"Hah I've still got the upper hand. Mages shower them with hell fire, arcane terror, and hailing ice of doom!" Dasch proposed. The three mages looked at each other and started to scratch in ignorance.

"Bleh!" One of the mages said and started to cannibalize the other two. Gore and Guts flew as the three ate each other to death.

"Damn," Vector gasped as he was chilled from his exasperation.

"Insolent fools! I've survived many battles all by my self. Since I am a Judge Magister of the High Court of Guilds serving Stormwind I make this battle in the terms of my rules," Dasch began to explain and swayed his axe onto the ground making an X-like shape. Purplish lines began to creak out of the X and powerful magic flew out of the X changing the whole scene. The whole scene looked like a court room. "Here is how the battle goes. First I'am the High Judge ruling. Now all of you must try to defend yourselves kinda like lawyers from the likes of my summoned demons."

"Hey what's the big deal with the red ring around my neck?" Shamu asked.

"Hey it's a cow bell," Zero added.

"It's not a fucking cow bell. And secondly he's a tauren," John said as he came out of nowhere right behind Davis.

"John! I thought you were caught and-," Davis was interrupted.

"Let's just say I faked my own death," John cleverly planned it all along.

"If your red ringed friend dies so do all of you! May the battle commence!" The judge's voice deepened as he stood atop a seat similar to that of a judge and struck his axe onto the high table. Imps appeared and started to cackle and throw random magic at Shamu. Techa healed him up with a throw of light sparkled on the tauren.

"If Shamu is dead then were all dead," Techa worried. Imps began jumping on the group like an obsessed video gaming crowd.

"Damn it there is to many of them for me to AoE!" Chilly shouted letting a hail of ice rain on the imps. Blades were clashing and spells flying as the imps tried to over control them through numbers. An imp slashed it's dirty claw at the back of Belle. Belle collapsed dropping out of her panther form. Davis turned around after taking down the imps he had aggro on.

"Belle," Davis rushed over to her and took out the imps that got in his way as he swung his blade like a tennis racket. The warrior picked up Belle and shook her shoulder seeing if their was any sign of life in her living body.

"Ugh...Davis," she weakly spoken.

"No one ever messes with my lover!" Davis dragged Quel Serrar on the ground and pulled out the soul conduit he destroyed. The dragon blood his blade was soaked in merged with the soul conduit minimal energy and began sparking a huge swirling tornado of Crimson Fire around Davis. Dark black wings popped out of the effect and Davis was unleashed with a Spirit similar looking to Onyxia glided into the air gusting wind at the imps.

"What the this can't be?" Dasch complained.

"He's a warlock!" Jak shouted.

"Wow a warrior summoning a dragon. That's better then you," Shamu told Jak as he tried dodging the attacking imps.

"Halt! You were able to use the soul conduit to your advantage. Impressive but I won't die in vain," Dasch leaped out of his seat and charged straight for Shamu pushing off the imps in his way.

"How the-," Shamu was interrupted and Dasch began unleashing a series of blows with his axe and sword.

"If your fellows plan on hurting me your death will be quicker then you expected Muwahahahahahahahahahahah," Dasch cackled. Davis' Onyxia landed on the ground bursting shots of flames taking out the demon in her way. Techa thought quickly and threw a shield around Shamu. The tauren sighed with please and Davis pointed his sword straight at Dasch. "No impossible! A shield that must mean-,"

"Your time is up bitch!" Onyxia opened her mouth revealing her huge fangs and a great ball of fire bursted straight at the magister.

"No you can't! Undying Guild will always prevail," Dasch said his final words and tried walking unpleasantly as he felt the scorching heat on his face. The magister swirled in dizziness and his face fell to the ground. Victory was bittersweet.

"Wow that was pretty sweet," John applauded Davis who dismounted off Onyxia and banished the dragon into his sword.

"Heck ya now let's head back to our Capture the Flag game," The court scene turned into a normal Warsong Gulch field. Yuki was seen holding the Alliance flag atop the Horde Base chanting nonsensical Trollish.

"What the-," John mouth dropped.

"YES FINALLY WE WON!" Techa picked up Chilly and hugged him with joy as it was double the victory.

"I feel like a plush doll," The gnome said hugging Techa. Soon the battle was over and a new adventure begins. The Alliance returned to Ironforge while The Horde returned to Ogrimmar. But things don't settle their my friend as more comes soon. REVIEW PLZ


	10. Play Station 3 Special!

1PS3 Special

"Ugh John I can't believe were actually waiting here for 5 days after our defeat in Warsong Gulch," Davis whined at John as the dwarf rested in his tent. The two were waiting in line for a PS3 in front of the Ironforge Gnomish Gaming Store. The crowd was huge that the line apparently looked like a drafting of soldiers.

"Hold up lad. You know how important this Playstation 3 is to me. I've saved all the gold I was farming. 600 GOLD FOR THE PS3 Davey! That's like my whole life," John explained zippering the entrance of the tent.

"You boys still waiting?" Belle came by bringing Davis a bagged lunch.

"Heck ya," John responded.

"Oh god look at this," Davis chewed on his sandwhich and pointed at a gnome cutting in front of a night elf in line.

"Hey that the fuck is the big deal?" The night elf shouted.

"Hey I was here first," The gnome stated with no proof. The night elf shoved the gnome away but the little midget bit the elf's ankle.

"AHH FUCK OFF YOU FREAK!" The night elf struggled. Ironforge Guards began surveying the scene.

"Oh boy we got ourselves a tough one," One of the guards said pulling the two combatants away from each other.

"Tell me about it. Next thing you know Chinese Farmers will be auctioning this PS3 for like 2000 Gold!" The other said as he looked across the Auction House bridge seeing an Asian gnome snickering.

"Gasp look!" John pointed his gun at a human playing a Nintendo DS.

"So what's the big deal?" Davis was curious.

"Take that you Nintendo Fan Boy!" The hunter fired his shotgun at the human's DS.

"No no don't die on me," the human cried picking up his broken portable game.

"Touch me lil boy," The Nintendo DS seemed to moaned.

"So where's the others at?" Belle wondered.

"Oh Zero and Chilly went off somewhere probably farming for gold or waiting for the Nintendo Wii thing," Davis slurped his drink.

Meanwhile at Chilly' laboratory in the Gnomsih Center of Ironforge.

"This must be my best idea yet," Chilly screwed in a nail on a gnomsih contraption of his. "What that suppose to be?" Zero asked.

"It's a Playstation 3 fake. I just made it all heavy and covered it in some silver shiny mithril to make it look nice," Chilly placed it in a box. "Then we can sell it and buy ourselves a Nintendo Wii."

"Silly gnome. Everyone has a wee. Probably girls. But I am not sure if they can use the bathroom," the paladin stupidly replied.

"Zero you idiot. I meant the Nintendo Console dude besides I'll get you one too just because you helped me mine for the stuff to make the fake," An Asian Gnome came by lugging a huge suitcase. "Who the hell are you?" Chilly said.

"I'm here to buy it," The gnome said opening the suitcase revealing a treasure chest of gold. Chilly started to drool.

"DEAL!" He shouted pushing the box over to him and took the suitcase.

"Yeah were pirates!" Zero said.

For the Play Station 3 release however in the Horde Area things weren't going so smoothly. Vector looked at the Zeppelin landing by. He stealthed by the goblin guards and removed his Bloodfang Mask. He grinned and saw a pile of Play Station 3 consoles and games. He pulled out a huge woolen sack and stuffed them in. He reached for one of the console boxes and another hand was seen grabbing it. It was big and probably that of a tauren.

"What the? Shamu?" Vector looked atop seeing Shamu smiling.

"Hehe howd you get here?" He replied.

"I'd ask the same of you," the rogue replied.

"Easy just went spirit wolf here."

"Ok fine we can split the profit we make off these 50/50."

"No way!" The voice of Techa was heard behind them including her brother Yuki beside her.

"Okay we each get a quarter of the profit then."

"What about Jak? Should we get him involved with-,"

"No," Vector quickly ignored.

Unfortunately for Jak...

"Oh boy I can't wait for my Playstation 3," Jak cheered staying in line at Ogrimmar. A gunshot was heard and the crowd started clearing a bit. "Oh boy must be the opening celebration," The orc walked in as the doors opened he came back outside with his PS3 in the plastic bag.

"Look he has a PS3 let's gang on him!" A random mob shouted.

"Hey guys wanna play with my- GACK!" Crowds of Horde ganged up on him beating him senseless and tried fighting over the PS3. "Oh my god you guys are fucking crazier then the guys who wanted a car in War of the Worlds movie featuring Tom Cruise!"

"Ahh Davis were are you? What's wrong with this line?" John started lagging through the line as it started to get shorter.

"I dunno I think Blizzard screwed up a wire and caused major latency," Davis was confused as he was in the same position of running. The line disappeared and all was left was nothing but thrash and many corpses on the floor.

"Wow people actually kill each other for this," Belle said.

"No I missed out on my PS3!" John sobbed after his escape from the lag.

"Hey guys," Zero said surrounded by night elf ladies in bikinis. Zero was wearing many gold jewely and highest of the fancy clothing. Same with Chilly.

"How the-," John stammered.

"We sold it for a profit," Chilly touched his sunglass.

"Hey Zero let's play with your Wii," One of the night elves said.

"Which one are you talking about?" Zero asked.

"WAHHH THAT'S NO FAIR!" John cried and begged on the floor.

"WAWA WA!" Davis mocked the dwarf.

THE END


	11. Gnome Theft Auto San Azeroth

Stormwind City, John's House 3:15 PM

"Ah finally you got that porno video we waited for...hic!" The drunken druid hiccuped.

"Aye lad took me a while to get their but I finally made it," John placed the bag of videos onto the floor. Most of his random friends were their crowding around the coach and his T.V.

"Oh boy can I watch?" Chilly the gnome mage came by.

"Heck no your to young for this lassie," The dwarf shoved Chilly away.

"YOUNG!? LASSIE!? Hey I may be short and all but-,"

"Suck it ya wuss no lil babies," a random person who was obviously drunk threw a beer bottle to the ground. A set of foot steps were heard.

"Hey guys whatcha doing? Are you guys playing video games?" Zero asked.

"No were not! Were ummm," John tried to hide the bag.

"Oh is that a pile of games lemme see!"

"No this is...," John pulled out a random cassette. "Gnomes N Ur Pants Gah!" The dwarf quickly placed it back in the bag.

"Oh boy is that a game? If so do you have Resident Evil 4?" Zero asked.

"No we don't have any-,"

"Oh do you have Dead Rising?" He interrupted.

"NO! I DON'T HAVE ANY GAMES THAT HAVE ZOMBIES IN IT! JUST GO TO THE PLAGUELANDS AND KILL SOME YOURSELF! BESIDES THAT WHAT A REAL PALADIN DO! NOW GET OUT!" John fiercely pushed the two outside.

"Oh come on!" Chilly shouted as the door locked in front of him. "Oh I'll show you!" The gnome pulled out an unlit dynamite and walked towards John's parked Ram.

"What are you doing?" Zero asked.

"Im gonna blow up his prized mount," Chilly walked towards the Ram and started placing a dynamite onto the satchel. He then casted a spark on his hands with some fire spells. All of a sudden a black human jacks the mount and rides off. Chilly takes a step back but John placed a rope at the bottom catching onto his foot.

"Damn their on my ass!" The human shouted as he looked at the far upper right of his screen revealing a one star.

"Ah what's going on," Chilly fell on to the back of the mount as the human raced the mount at mach speed. Two Stormwdin Soldiers rode by covering the sides.

"Give it up! Evacuate the Mount immediately," the soldier shouted with his microphone.

"FUCK!" The human accidently rode over a group walkking at the sidelines of the trade district. The upper right screen began to reveal 3 stars now.

"What the hell is this?" Chilly worried.

"Shoot some spells at them dawg!"

"Who the fuck are you?" Chilly flung a frost bolt at one guard's mount and froze him in place.

"The name is Tommy Johnson aka TJ," T.J. veered a left into the dwarf district. The star gauge quickly went to a 5 star as more soldiers were killed including citizens that were run over. One of the soldiers pulled out a shotgun and accidently fired at the dynamite hidden in the satchel. The fuse was lit and began to blow up sending John's ram into bits. The gauge was filled to 6 stars. "Shit," T.J. pulled out his musket as he jumped off the Ram with Chilly alongside him.

"Surrender now we have you surrounded," One of the guards shouted as Tonks, Gnomsih Planes and Stormwind Guards cornered the two.

"What the hell did you do?" The gnome whispered to T.J.

"I don't know I just banged a night elf chick, dumped her, bought a gun, shot some drug dealers, and took this box in my hand with me," T.J. replied.

"Now give it up," The guard came closer as if he was feeding something hostile.

"By bitch!" The musket fired and shoot the guard two feet away from thw two. The tonks were ready to fire their missles and Gnomsih Planes began cocking their turrets.

"Quick jump in!" Chilly pulled a portal leading to Darnassus. The two hoped into the vortex and were finally in a tranquil environment. T.J. gasped for air and looked at the gnome.

"Thanks man," he shook hands with him.

"You better give that box back to wherever you got it," Chilly reminded him. "Besides what's in it anyway?"

"I dunno. Let's find out," T.J. opened the box and found a soul conduit similar to the one in Warsong Gulch.

"Holy shit!"

"What is it special? Cuz if it is dawg I'm selling mine for cash you good wit that?"

"No that thing is dangerous! Put it back." Soon the soul conduit activated and the whisps and trent's spirit began to fly towards the soul conduit. The souls were screaming in horror as they tried to escape.

"Ok this is bad," Chilly began to worry as all the night elves herded around them.

"So I see you have what appears to be the Undying Guild's soul conduit. It amazes me to see how far such peasants can go so far with a heavily guarded object," A paladin in Judgement Robes holding a huge crimson darkish mace walked through the crowd with his voiced echoed and deepened. As if he was wearing a heavy plate armor on his head. "Swift for your steal and your skills of driving put you here in the hands of the Undying Guild's leading official. I am Judge Vergan! The time for the Undying Guild to bring Stormwind to high ground and rule as the best in military power is near. Soon King Anduinn will be dethroned and our true king Wrathius shall be our revolution. A fitting day for a true dynast king. Hark! Soon you two shall perish! Your time is nigh!" The paladin swung his mace at the two as they tried to dodge his reckless attacks. Chilly tripped to the floor and looked back which may soon be his demise. The face of the Paladin's mace. Will he die or will T.J. be in time to retaliate?


End file.
